Hey Chuck,
I work with someone who is under a great deal of financial stress. It’s beginning to affect his ability to work, and I want to help my friend. What approach do you recommend?
Friendly Financial Help
Dear Friendly Financial Help,
I hate financial stress. It can be devastating to our emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being. Far too many Americans are struggling with financial stress right now. The consequences of financial stress are real and to be taken seriously. A look at several recent surveys confirms this:
Since I don’t know the source of financial pain in your friend’s situation, let’s examine the common causes.
Causes of Financial Stress
Financial stress can be caused by many things:
Impact of Financial Stress
People handle stress differently. The inability to cover bills causes many to borrow from friends or family. The repercussions may involve late penalties, utilities being cut, plummeting credit scores, repossessed vehicles, and more. Saving and giving are threatened in the face of survival, and, unfortunately, debt can spiral into more debt. Individuals often suffer with:
Helping a Friend with Their Financial Stress
One of the reasons I hate financial stress is that I can relate because of all of the mistakes I have made with money. It gives me compassion and a sincere desire to help others avoid it. Our deepest fellowship is often with those who share or have experienced common suffering. In the preface to The Problem of Pain, C.S. Lewis wrote, “When pain is to be borne, a little courage helps more than much knowledge, a little human sympathy more than much courage, and the least tincture of the love of God more than all.” Compassion is a gift we crave in the midst of suffering and a gift we learn to offer others.
Without any guilt trips, judgment, or condemnation, I would start by asking your friend if you can help. Explain that you desire to be an encouragement and support. If they agree to trust you, begin by asking questions. Can they analyze what can be done to immediately help the situation? What can be sold? What bills can be negotiated: medical, credit cards, insurance, phone service, etc.? In critical situations, it may be necessary to cash in investments, withdraw from retirement funds, seek a personal or home equity loan, or use a balance transfer credit card. Make sure details and ramifications are clearly understood. Read the fine print, and do not hesitate to ask questions.
Take one day at a time. Jesus said, “Do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” (Matthew 6:34 ESV) Worrying does not solve anything.
So here are some practical steps to suggest to help your friend get on track:
Some talking points I might use:
Thanks for the question. May God give you favor as you seek to serve your friend.
Another helpful and trusted source is Christian Credit Counselors. They can help consolidate debt and get your friend on the road to financial freedom.
Dear Chuck,
I’m really trying to develop a Biblical mindset when it comes to money. Can you give me some foundational changes I need to make?
Moving from a Worldly Money Mindset
Dear Moving from a Worldly Money Mindset,
I am reminded of the Parable of the Rich Fool in Luke 12. He earned plenty of money but decided to build bigger barns so that he could live the good life—to eat, drink, and be merry for many years into retirement. Nothing wrong with wealth or savings or planning; but Jesus reminded him that his life was only temporary and that it is more important to be “rich toward God” than plan for a life of temporary personal fulfillment.
Renew Your Mind
The Apostle Paul wrote in Romans 12:2, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” You will learn to think Biblically about money when your mind is transformed by God’s Word. There are more than 1,000 references to money in the Bible—second only to the subject of love. The Bible points out that the key to transformation is to renew our minds on Truth so that we think differently. To do this, you must immerse yourself in the Word. Ask God to open your heart and mind to gain the knowledge and principles to handle money His way.
I recommend finding a Bible reading plan and resolving to stick with it. If you are an auditory learner, then listen to it. This is one of the best investments of your time that I can recommend.
YouVersion.com gives statistics that demonstrate how reading Scripture can change your life.
Those who read the Bible four or more times a week are:
Embrace the Right Motives
Our relationship with money is determined in great part by our attitudes and motives. Having the right attitude and motives is more than just learning to live on a budget and tithing. Right attitudes include total commitment to God, listening to the counsel of other people (including husbands or wives), dealing fairly and honestly with other people, being humble and thankful, and forgiving others (in terms of debts that are owed.) Our spiritual values are reflected through finances. How we handle money will be an outward indicator of our true beliefs and priorities.
God gives us financial principles because He knows they are best for us. Money or material possessions are not the problems; they are symptoms of real problems. God constantly warns us to guard our hearts against greed, covetousness, ego, pride, and more because these are tools Satan uses to control and manipulate us. That is why we need to know what God says about money.
The Short List of God’s Way to Manage Money
It is not an easy task to begin thinking “contra mundum”—in ways that are contrary to the world.
We are bombarded with secular thinking at every turn. Yet God will honor your motives and the sincere desire to learn. Psalm 347:4–6 reads:
Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act.
He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday.
We have a library of financial tools and resources available at Crown.org. In addition, check out our teaching at Bible.com and rightnowmedia.org along with other ministries’ teaching on money. In my own life, I moved from a temporal perspective to an eternal perspective more than 24 years ago. My only regret is that I did not make the shift earlier in my life.
Do you want more tools and tips regarding financial freedom so you can thrive in 2024? Are you interested in receiving ministry updates from around the world? Sign up to receive the Crown Newsletter emails by using the form on the homepage at Crown.org.
This article was originally published on The Christian Post on January 19, 2024.
Dear Chuck,
I received a sizable bonus and am thinking about investing a portion of it into CDs while rates are up. We are nearing retirement and do not want to risk it in the stock market right now. Any advice?
Cautious Investors
Dear Cautious Investors,
Congratulations on that bonus! I know it will be helpful to overcome some of the painful increases in the cost of living in 2023.
Saving vs. Investing
A small but important distinction is to parse out the difference between saving and investing. Money saved is money that is secure and readily available with the exception of possible constraints of time or tax laws. Money invested is money that is at risk of loss and possibly under the control of another fiduciary who has established terms and conditions around your investment. With that in mind, I look at your question as one related to savings if you chose to put the funds in CDs (certificate of deposits) vs. in the stock market, which I would consider a means to invest the funds. So… let’s get more practical with your question.
To Go with CD’s or Not to Go with CD’s? That Is the Question
CDs or certificates of deposit allow you to lock into an interest rate for a certain length of time. They are considered cash “investments” designed to get a modest return on your passive deposits in exchange for leaving them in the account for set periods of time. It is important to choose them based on personal savings goals and the time needed before you have to access the money. They work best as savings accounts when the funds are not intended for emergencies or retirement. They cannot be accessed quickly without a penalty and typically do not keep up with normal inflation. They are good for specific savings goals.
There are a variety of options available, but online banks are offering the best interest rates. They are paying good interest rates on 6, 9, and 12-month CDs. At the time of writing, I found several offerings over 5.50%. See current rates here. Online banks do not have the overhead costs of brick-and-mortar institutions and are able to pay higher rates. However, I did find comparable promotions at credit unions.
Ask Chuck Cd’s And Low Risk Investments For Cautious Investors
Consider Laddering
If you are concerned about interest rate changes for your deposits, you could ladder several to take advantage of the current APY (annual percentage yield). Then research and pray through your options before they mature. This is a strategy in which you spread cash over multiple term lengths. The benefit is having access to short-term CDs that mature on different dates. This offers you the flexibility to decide whether to reinvest at maturity. For example, if you have $20,000 to put into CDs, you could put $5,000 into a 6, 9, and 12-month CD and a 3 or 5-year CD. As the shortest term matures, you can determine if you want to roll it over or move it. See NerdWallet.com for a more thorough explanation.
Pros (of FDIC-insured CDs)
Cons (of FDIC-insured CDs)
Tools: CD Calculator / CD Ladder Calculator
I recommend federally insured institutions. FDIC and NCUA protect deposits up to $250,000 should a bank collapse. Note: that cap includes all accounts held at a particular bank.
Investing
Should you decide you prefer to invest the funds, your spouse and you would need to agree on the level of acceptable risk and the time frame that you are comfortable with. Obviously, a professional advisor can give you a variety of options that may best fit your needs. Look for a service like the Everyday Steward of Blue Trust. They describe it like this on their website: “Designed for individuals who need one-on-one financial planning or investment management (ranging generally from $100,000 up to $1 million in assets), Blue Trust’s Everyday Steward advisors work with people who are beyond the debt stage, but who desire objective, biblically based advice.”
You are wise to diversify and consider all your options before moving the funds to CDs or any form of investment. The Bible does not give specific advice to investors outside of what King Solomon said. He said, in essence, “diversify.” This is the wise way to minimize your risk of loss.
Give a portion to seven, or even to eight, for you know not what disaster may happen on earth. (Ecclesiastes 11:2 ESV)
The Proverbs also warn us to avoid emotional, spontaneous, and ill-informed guesses about where to place funds.
The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty. (Proverbs 21:5 ESV)
Crown’s online Budget Coaching program matches you with one of our certified coaches to thoroughly analyze your financial situation. Your coach will work with you from the convenience of your home to help with your specific challenges. He or she can serve as a beginning point for advice while you pray for the Lord’s direction.
This article was originally published on The Christian Post on January 12, 2024
Dear Chuck,
I want to lose weight and get in physical shape this year. I need to join a gym, but I have a limited budget. What is the best way to save money on a gym?
Fit and Frugal
Dear Fit and Frugal.
Getting fit is a common goal for many people at the beginning of a new year. Whether losing weight, gaining strength, improving balance, or enhancing bone health, a gym membership can be beneficial and pay great financial dividends over a lifetime.
My wife and I desire to be healthy, maintain our vitality, and minimize risks associated with lethargic lifestyles. We try to eat well but need to do better. We walk regularly and enjoy hiking when we can. Ann likes working out at home to YouTube routines. I like access to all the machines and free weights, so I joined a local, private gym at the urging of one of my sons. First, I participated in their free trial for seven days, and then I joined. My membership is structured without a contract. I pay only month-to-month and can cancel anytime.
Getting a Good Value for Your Gym Membership
The cost of a gym membership varies according to the gym and its location. Here are some tips:
Check and compare gym prices online. Ask friends and neighbors where they go. Investigate discussion forums to research costs. Take time to read reviews of your potential choices. Request a tour of possible gyms, and ask lots of questions. Consider how far the gym is from home or work and what time of day you want to exercise. Ask for a non-commitment trial. Most gyms will provide a one or two-week pass for facility use.
Month-to-month plans allow you to leave without extra fees but can cost more per month. A contract is usually a better deal unless you move, get injured, stop going, or want to go to a different gym. But it can be a hefty one-time fee. Ask for unique discounts like military, student, or senior citizen. The pay-as-you-go option may actually save you money in the long run until you develop a regular routine. You will get to know employees and learn about discounts or promotions.
Many gyms have sales quotas. You might find them willing to deal privately at the end of the month. Take advantage of membership promotions. When negotiating, explain that you have shopped around and would like them to meet the fees of a competitor. If not possible, see what they can offer. If you pay for the year upfront, they may reward you with a decent discount.
You can also ask what they will offer with the amount you can pay.
Some people suggest negotiating late in the day and/or late in the month. Avoid sign-up or registration fees. Read a contract thoroughly. If you join and a membership promo is later offered, ask the gym to give you that reduced rate.
Here is an article that may be helpful if you live near one of the large gym chains: Big Box Gym advice. January can be the worst month to join because people try to keep resolutions and work off excess pounds gained over the holidays. So prices go up, and the facilities get crowded. However, some gyms offer promotions, knowing that people are eager to get started.
If you cannot join within your budget, do not be afraid to tell them. Be willing to walk away. Never sign up for something you cannot afford.
Alternatives to Gyms
If your budget doesn’t allow it, you can get in shape without joining a gym. Lose weight with a diet plan, and find someone who wants to go on the journey with you to stay motivated. You can save money by cutting out fast food and sugar. Walk, run, bike, hike, and take the stairs at work. Park where you have to walk farther. Buy or borrow some equipment, and find a YouTube workout you like. Set specific, attainable goals, and post them where you will see them daily. Form a group to encourage one another and offer tips. Our Crown staff started a Slack channel for that this year.
Priceless Returns on Investment
I read that 50% of the people who join a gym drop their membership in the first year. The truth is that joining a gym will only do you good if you go regularly. Be sure you stay committed to your goals, remembering that long-term health is a huge cost savings and an increase in the quality of your life. However, the real priceless returns are training to become more Christ-like. Paul wrote this advice to the younger Timothy:
Have nothing to do with irreverent, silly myths. Rather train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come. The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance. (1 Timothy 4:7–9 ESV)
I have to wonder if Timothy was considering how much time to spend working on his physical strength. Financial fitness is available right now through a Crown budget coach. Get started now, and experience financial freedom in 2024!
This article was originally published on The Christian Post on January 5, 2024
Dear Chuck,
Thank you for the lessons you bring us each week and how you tie them back to the Word of God. Please provide some tips to help my husband and me be better stewards in the new year ahead.
Stewardship Tips
Dear Stewardship Tips,
Thank you so much. My wife, Ann, helps me research and respond to questions each week. We are grateful for your kind words. We can share some of the tips that have helped us.
Pray, Reflect, Give Thanks
I suggest you find a place and time that is free of distractions so you can ponder and pray deeply. Ask the Lord for help to reflect on the past year—to recall specific ways in which He has helped, guided, or provided in ways you never could have imagined. Hebrews 12 is an excellent way to begin the process of reflection. It reminds us to remember with reverence and awe how God provides and sustains us through the years.
Look back through your calendar or journal for prompts. There may have been days of deep sorrow or great joy. In both, we are told to give thanks because God uses them to sanctify us and conform us to His image.
Ann and I often refer to Lamentations 3:21–24 upon rising in the morning. We go back and forth, reciting the phrases. It is a good one to think about in reflecting over the past year:
But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope:
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.”
It’s a valuable practice to recall the ways we experience God’s love and mercy and praise Him for His faithfulness. It enables us to look to the future with renewed hope.
A Stewardship Analysis: Money, Motives, and Management
Set aside a few hours and review your earnings, spending, giving, saving, and investing over the past twelve months. This will prepare you to do some analysis. Make a rough draft, then copy it in a journal or place that you can refer to in days/years to come. Access it frequently to remember God’s work in your life. Imagine keeping decades of reflections to pass down to loved ones. Don’t rush. In fact, you may recall things that you need to record in days to come. Your family may want to participate and share their reflections together.
Give Thanks
After reflecting on the year and God’s faithfulness, pause and thank God. The phrase “Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever” is repeated in the Bible and should be repeated by us throughout our days. See 1 Chronicles 16:34; 2 Chronicles 5:13; Psalm 106:1; Psalm 107:1; Psalm 118:1, 29; Psalm 136:1; Jeremiah 33:11
Ask Him to Guide You in the New Year
We all make financial mistakes, experience unwanted hardships, and need God’s wisdom to make progress on a daily basis. With every new year the Lord gives us to live, we can start fresh with renewed hope and dreams for serving His purposes as good and faithful stewards. For Ann and I, our financial journey started fresh after 21 years of marriage. For the past 24 years, we have been blessed to have seen God redeem us from so many mistakes early in our marriage and have the joy of learning and applying His financial principles. I hope you will look to Crown for resources to help you in this exciting journey.
Happy New Year.
Crown.org provides many free resources, from budgeting to financial planning to family stewardship guidance to directions for career choices and many more. We would be honored to help guide your family in financial freedom and purpose in the new year.
This article was originally published on The Christian Post on December 29, 2023.
Dear Chuck,
Every December, my wife and I do some preliminary tax planning by reviewing our charitable giving for the year. We are split on our views of giving. What is your perspective on this question: do you think we can ever be too generous?
Generous to a Fault?
Dear Generous to a Fault,
No, I don’t think it is possible to be too generous. However, since you and your spouse appear to be divided on how much to give, I want to provide some perspective that may help you get united.
Don’t Ask the Wrong Questions
It is common to ask, “How much of our money do we want to give away?” The reality is that everything we have belongs to God. The better question for spouses should be, “How much of God’s money should we spend on ourselves?” Once you have answered that question, you should be able to easily agree on the amount that you can freely and joyfully give to others.
While it is wise to get the maximum tax benefit from your giving, there are far better motivations for establishing your standards of giving. In fact, I believe we often miss the Biblical paradox of being generous.
Generosity Is Better for the Giver than the Receiver
Paradoxical statements appear to contradict logic, as in the statement, “Fools can be wise.”
According to G.K. Chesterton, “A paradox is often a truth standing on its head to get our attention.” Take generosity. It is not the prosperity gospel nor the give-to-gain strategy. It is a principle of Biblical economics in which generosity is better for the giver than for the receiver. Consider Proverbs 11:24–25 (NIV), “One person gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty. A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.”
Generosity Is Good for Your Health
A study conducted by clinical psychiatrist Dr. Lynne Gallagher shows that when we are generous and focused on others’ needs, our body’s stress is reduced, which slows premature aging and lowers our risk of death more than those who are not generous. Giving can stimulate the brain’s mesolimbic pathway or reward center. This is measured by lower blood pressure, reduced levels of cortisol, and an increase in endorphins, which elevate happiness and reduce depression.
Generosity Makes You Happier than Spending
A 2008 study by Harvard Business School professor Michael Norton and colleagues found that giving money to someone else lifted participants’ happiness more than spending it on themselves (despite participants’ prediction that spending on themselves would make them happier.) In a 2006 study by the National Institutes of Health, Jorge Moll and colleagues found that when people give to charities, regions of their brains are activated with pleasure, social connection, and trust, creating a “warm glow” effect.
Generosity Decreases Loneliness
“Giving promotes cooperation and social connection.” Several studies, including work by sociologists Brent Simpson and Robb Willer, have suggested that when giving to others, “your generosity is likely to be rewarded by others down the line—sometimes by the person you gave to, sometimes by someone else.” These exchanges promote a sense of trust and cooperation that strengthens our ties to others. Research shows that having positive social interactions is central to good mental and physical health. As researcher John Cacioppo wrote in his book Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection, “The more extensive the reciprocal altruism born of social connection…the greater the advance toward health, wealth, and happiness.”
Generosity Is Contagious
A study by James Fowler of the University of California, San Diego, and Nicholas Christakis of Harvard, showed that a generous person inspires observers to behave generously later. Altruism could spread by three degrees—from person to person to person. “As a result, each person in a network can influence dozens or even hundreds of people…”
Generosity Gives Meaning and Purpose
According to a study by Ascent, acting more generously is correlated with feeling more satisfied with life and career. Meaning and satisfaction are associated with making a difference in something bigger than ourselves, connecting to the feeling that we’re making a positive contribution to those around us.
Generosity Gives a Sense of Control in a Chaotic World
When life feels out of control, choices about giving help you feel empowered because you can engage in ways that are most meaningful to you.
Our Advantage
Our motive for giving is the recognition and deep appreciation for the grace and goodness of God. Like the Macedonians, it is a privilege for us to participate in giving. They gave themselves first to the Lord; then out of their love for Him, even though they were extremely poor in the eyes of the world, they pleaded for the joy to support the expansion of God’s eternal Kingdom!
“For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you by his poverty might become rich.”
(2 Corinthians 8:9 ESV)
I hope you and your spouse will unite around the joy and privilege we have to give and, through your generosity, will experience the untold benefits God promises far beyond a tax deduction.
Do you want more tools and tips regarding financial freedom to prepare you for a prosperous new year? Are you interested in receiving ministry updates from around the world? Sign up to receive the Crown Newsletter emails by using the form on the homepage at Crown.org.
This article was originally published on The Christian Post on December 22, 2023.
Dear Chuck,
“Girl Math” sounds humorous and fun to justify some crazy spending, but I think it is actually dangerous. Can you give me some counterpoints to discuss with my women’s group?
California Women’s Mentor
Dear California Women’s Mentor,
I had not seen this trend, so thanks for bringing it to my attention. Let’s start with some clarity on what the term means. My wife, Ann, helped me with the research. She does not practice “Girl Math,” by the way.
Business Insider defines “Girl Math” as “the process of justifying spending by breaking down big-ticket items into cost per wear or rationalizing that using cash isn’t ‘really’ costing money because it’s not coming directly out of a checking account – maybe you have money on a Starbucks card or cash in your Venmo account – so that coffee or paying back a friend for brunch can be ‘free.’”
It’s a TikTok trend in which the hashtag “#girlmath” is how young women explain spending choices that make absolutely no sense. The craze is meant to be a humorous way of justifying overspending on large or unnecessary purchases. Here are some examples:
Does any of that make you cringe too?
Some people say “Girl Math” can motivate people to spend more responsibly by making them think through purchases—apparently not if short-term indulgences justify long-term debt. The backward logic detaches people from the consequences of overspending. When emotions override reality, there will ultimately be financial trouble. In some ways, it dismisses responsibility, reality, and the warnings against greed and coveting. For your women’s group, I suggest you introduce them to “God’s Math.”
I have often said that Biblical financial teaching can be summed up like this:
Stewardship is not ordering your finances in a way that you can spend whatever you want;
it is ordering your life in such a way that God can spend you however He wants.
Jesus did not die on the cross so we could spend our lives in pursuit of vanity upon vanity. He died to stake His claim of ownership on our lives. We were bought with a price and beckoned to serve Him and build His Kingdom, not our own. You become a steward when you recognize that you are not the owner but God’s temporary manager. In this role, you are called to be faithful to His purposes. This will involve self-denial, generosity, and eternal treasures, not necessarily earthly riches.
Regardless of whether you have a little or a lot entrusted to your care, you must seek to allow God to have total control over your financial choices. The challenge is to die to self and come alive in Christ. When you recognize your identity as a steward, everything is done for the glory of God. Work, management of resources, and our very lives reflect our submission to His ways and His purposes. Stewarding what we have for His glory is a huge and honorable responsibility.
A key to making clear, wise choices is found in consciously handing over ownership of “my” resources to God. In fact, a quit claim deed or transfer of ownership to God is a beneficial reminder that everything belongs to Him. I highly recommend completing one. Here is an example, followed by a printable form.
Truth That Will Set You Free from “Girl Math”
“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness! No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.” (Matthew 6:19–24 ESV)
“ But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. Those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.” (1 Timothy 6:6–10 ESV)
Crown Budget Coaching can help you set and achieve your financial goals with the help of a personal coach. Your coach will work with you to develop a customized spending plan and debt elimination strategy to put you on the road to financial freedom!
This article was originally published on The Christian Post on December 15, 2023
Dear Chuck,
My adult children are pursuing careers and putting marriage on hold. With each passing year, I grow increasingly concerned. When did financial security take precedence over God’s plan for families?
Concerned Parent
Dear Concerned Parent,
Oh boy, this is a big subject! It is a concern that not only impacts you as a parent but also each of us as human beings the world over. Not only is the age of first marriage being pushed further and further out, but the precipitous drop in the fertility rate or number of children born in a household is a troubling trend as well. We need marriages, children, and strong families to be a fully functioning society. Many developed countries of the world currently have a birth rate below the replacement rate!
The Root of the Problem
Our young people have been exposed to the good, the bad, and the ugly side of marriage. If they are not abiding in Christ or in community with other believers, they likely see life through a secular worldview shaped by media, which typically portrays love and marriage like nothing resembling God’s design. “Hook-up” culture is replacing the idea of a lifelong covenant with another.
The Gospel Coalition published an article by Keith Simon entitled “Marriage Is Better for You Than You May Think.” He makes an excellent observation: “I’m most intrigued by the way Western culture has convinced multiple generations that life’s highest value is personal autonomy, as measured by financial independence.”
For many, marriage is a financial transaction, and debt has become a major factor. Couples make a promise to marry when the finances work. Some do trial runs to determine if they are compatible. They may justify it as a way of “saving money” when, in reality, they are simply “playing house”—my mother-in-law’s definition of cohabiting. There are some interesting articles about that here and here. Most have no idea marriage is good for you and your financial well-being!
Nine Times Better Off
Go Banking Rates states, “Traditionally, married people tend to be better off financially than those who are single – and thanks to inflation, this is now more true than ever.… In 2010, the median net worth of married couples 25 to 34 years old was four times as much as the median net worth of single households; as of 2019, married couples were worth nine times as much, the Wall Street Journal reported.”
Granted, there are some scary statistics about divorce, but they tend to be exaggerated and rarely touch on the benefits and joy of marriage. Marriage does not mean people won’t experience hardship or heartache. It often guarantees it as a means of sanctification. (Ephesians 5:22–33)
The benefits of marriage far outweigh all other forms of living arrangements. In fact, studies show that marriage makes people happier, increases their net worth, and helps them save more money. Marriage allows for filing taxes jointly along with the marital tax deduction, social security, IRA, inheritance, and leave benefits. There are health, auto, and home insurance benefits. While increasing the likelihood of affluence, it also decreases mortality risk. Married women, by and large, experience less poverty, and married fathers earn more income than single dads.
A True Picture of Marriage
The Gospel Coalition states, “Married adults also express higher levels of satisfaction with their relationship, and are more likely than those who are cohabiting to express a great deal of trust in their spouse or partner is being faithful to them, will act in their best interest, always tell them the truth, and will handle money responsibly. Additionally, married adults are much more likely than cohabiters to say they feel closer to their spouse or partner than to any other adult.” [sic]
The Meaning of Marriage by Tim and Kathy Keller states, “Married people experience greater physical and mental health. Also, marriage provides a profound “shock absorber’ that helps you navigate disappointments, illnesses, and other difficulties. You recover your equilibrium faster. But the increased earnings probably also come from what scholars call ‘marital social norms.’ Studies show that spouses hold one another to greater levels of personal responsibility and self-discipline than friends or other family members can. Just to give one example, single people can spend money unwisely and self-indulgently without anyone to hold them accountable. But married people make each other practice saving, investment, and delayed gratification. Nothing can mature character like marriage.”
Offer Them An Alternative
Unfortunately, a high percentage of our population does not know or abide by Biblical financial principles. They do not believe or understand that everything in Heaven and Earth is His. Stewardship is the responsibility of managing the resources God provides. It is choosing to live in such a way that sacrifices are made to avoid debt, gain margin, and experience freedom from financial stress.
Share with your children the great joys and financial benefits of living in God’s design for marriage. Then pray He will open their hearts and prepare them to be ready when the right one comes into their lives. I should add that the Bible commends those who are able to live in singleness and devote their undivided attention to serving Christ. So don’t force the issue. Pray, offer your counsel, and see what God has in store.
This book may be of great interest to your children and you: Money Problems – Marriage Solutions by Chuck and Ann Bentley. Crown also has an online financial course for couples to do together called Money Dates.
This article was originally published on The Christian Post on December 8, 2023
Dear Chuck,
Christmas is my favorite holiday because of the focus on giving. My husband and I want to be extra generous with our four children, our church, and our favorite ministries. We have a budget of $3,000 for all of these. Can you help us set priorities?
Establishing Our Priorities for Christmas Giving
Dear Establishing Priorities,
First, I am grateful for your focus on being generous. Christmas is a heartwarming reminder of the generosity of those who worshiped Christ at His miraculous birth. Tis the season for giving!
The challenge with your question is my lack of context. I have no idea how much you have given your children, church, or favorite ministries throughout the year. With that understanding, I will answer your question about how to prioritize the three categories so you and your husband can determine the amounts. Starting with a working definition of giving as a tangible expression of love, let’s examine all the ways that you can love extravagantly this Christmas.
GIVING PRIORITIES
Giving to Your Children
“But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” (1 Timothy 5:8 ESV)
I recommend that you make the children your priority for demonstrating generosity this Christmas. They want/need to see your commitment to their needs and wants on par or greater than they see it shown to others. However, that may be done without spending lots of money. Let me give you a few ideas.
Align giving and their love language. Gary Chapman surveyed a group of adults and found the five most common love languages:
You may discover your children’s dominant love languages through simple observation, or you may need the book to go through the questions with each one individually. Knowing each child’s love language will enable you to connect with them on a deeper level.
Upon confirmation, ask the Lord for creativity to come up with a custom gift that speaks their language. For the “Quality Time” child, the gift may be a day alone with both parents doing a favorite activity together. For the “Words of Affirmation” child, you could record friends’ and family’s love and praise in a short video, journal, or frame—and so forth. You get the idea.
Another method involves interviewing them with questions without giving away your intentions.
What has been your best Christmas ever? Why? What is your hope or dream for this Christmas?
The costs of gifts do not have to be equal, but the thoughtful expression of your love should be.
Giving to Your Church and Favorite Ministries
“Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the first fruits of all your produce…”
(Proverbs 3:9a ESV)
Assuming that you consistently support your church and favorite ministries throughout the year, there is no requirement to do more. However, if moved to demonstrate your love for Jesus during this season, the Bible offers principles to guide you in setting priorities:
1.Giving should be premeditated. 2 Corinthians 9:7
This means giving is not a spontaneous or emotional reaction but a prayerful decision on where and how much to invest in God’s work.
2. Giving should be proportional to your income. 1 Corinthians 16:2
While we should give sacrificially to accomplish Kingdom work, it is the consistent, steady giving over time that has the greatest cumulative impact. Pray together, and seek unity on the amount.
3. Giving should support those teaching God’s Word. 1 Timothy 5:17
Many wonderful nonprofits do great work, but as Christians, our priority is first supporting a Bible-believing church and then God-glorifying ministries. Avoid giving where you cannot verify a group’s validity. Many people are scammed at Christmas by fake charities.
4. Giving should help the poor and suffering. Matthew 25:34-45
Jesus, the greatest gift and the greatest giver in the history of the world, will separate the generous and selfish by their tangible love to the hungry, thirsty, stranger, naked, sick, and imprisoned. Be sure that some of your giving is toward those who are suffering.
5. Giving should be done with joy. 2 Corinthians 9:7
It is our privilege to represent His love and kindness to others. He wants us to do so cheerfully and not under pressure, as if paying a tax. Giving is actually better for us than it is for the receiver!
It is not my job to allocate your giving budget; however, these principles can help you and your husband unite your hearts. I am grateful that you are avoiding holiday debt and seeking help to be generous vessels of God’s love this Christmas.
Do you want more tools and tips regarding Biblical financial principles and purposes? Are you interested in receiving ministry updates from around the world? Sign up to receive the Crown Newsletter emails by using the form on the homepage at Crown.org.
This article was originally published on The Christian Post on December 1, 2023
Dear Chuck,
Inflation has hurt our family. We have very little money to spend on Christmas gifts this year. I am tempted but decided to skip all the Black Friday madness this year. My husband and I discussed using our credit cards for Christmas gifts, but he said no way. Haven’t you offered tips for ways to celebrate without spending money?
Frugal Christmas This Year
Dear Frugal Christmas This Year,
Here we are again—another Black Friday that kicks off the shopping frenzy for 2023.
Some people really look forward to it every year and line up early to rush into stores for supposed bargain deals. Others, like me, tend to ignore it as mostly marketing hype.
If your finances are in need of some help, then read my Black Friday Survival Guide from 2017 or Christmas Shopping on a Budget from 2021. Like your husband, I want you to have a wonderful Christmas without debt! Don’t let Black Friday create a Red New Year! That is, avoid going into debt—period! Don’t spend money you don’t have. Don’t open retail credit cards or buy-now-pay-later accounts. Don’t give in to pressure to spend money you don’t have. Exercise self-control, and track your spending to make sure you can cover the costs (in full!) when the bills come due.
Celebrate With Joy, Not Debt!
As always, I asked my wife, Ann, for her best advice on saving money. She is our resident expert! Here are some ways she suggests to celebrate the beauty of the season without partaking in a gift-buying frenzy:
Pray and Focus on What He Has Done
Pray, and ask God to provide in ways that you could never plan. One of our friends raised seven children on a limited budget. He tells the story of when one of the young boys said they wanted a grand piano for Christmas. There was no way the family could ever afford it. But they prayed. Before Christmas arrived, a friend contacted them and said she no longer needed their grand piano after the death of her spouse and asked if they could use it in their home!
Change your mindset by focusing on the truth of Christmas: the arrival of our Savior, Jesus Christ, who came to give us new life. Nothing comes close to the wonder of this! Refuse to let your heart be gripped by the advertising and materialistic madness of the season. Note what the Apostle Paul wrote in Colossians 3:1–2 (ESV):
If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.
Renew your mind, give thanks in all things, and focus on the true meaning of Christmas. Listen to the words of Christmas carols, and teach them to your family. They are rich in meaning and timeless. Memorize Luke 2:1–20 as a family. This way, you can enjoy the season without fearing bills arriving in January. Not only will you have a frugal Christmas but a fulfilling one as well!
For everyday inspiration, subscribe to the Crown God Is Faithful devotional. You will receive daily devotionals that will help transform your finances and provide much-needed encouragement. May it be a blessing!
This article was originally published on The Christian Post on November 24, 2023.
