Honesty in Marriage
By Chuck Bentley
I read with fascination about the news report of an Indian bride who walked out of her wedding ceremony after the groom failed to solve a simple math problem. The bride tested the groom on his math skills and when he got the sum wrong, she walked out. The question she asked: How much is 15 plus six? His reply: 17.
The groom’s family tried persuading the bride to return, but she refused. She said the groom had misled them about his education. The bride’s father supported his daughter’s decision by saying, “Even a first grader can answer this.”
Why is this story important to you and me? Well, it’s not really a story about the importance of math but the importance of honesty. When we marry, our relationship must be built upon honesty. You see, the bride realized that she was being deceived about the man she was supposed to be marrying, and she exposed the lie that he was well educated.
Many couples find it difficult to be honest with each other about their finances before and after they marry. I have counseled many couples that have faced this challenge. If this is one you face in your marriage, let me recommend the following steps:
1. Set an appointment to meet without interruption and discuss your finances together.
2. Pray together and commit not to get angry or rude when you discuss the areas where you have not been able to be completely honest with each other.
3. Disclose the areas that you have hidden or covered up. Ask for forgiveness and commit to work together to solve the problems this has created.
4. Let your spouse know you want to be unified and trust each other in all areas of your life.
5. Make a plan to correct this behavior and make yourself accountable to your spouse. If it was a private credit card or store account that you were hiding, close the account and don’t repeat the mistake.
Originally posted 4/1/2015.