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Dealing with Personality Differences

Leo Tolstoy said, “What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are but how you deal with incompatibility.” Does your marriage suffer from personality differences?

Personality plays a key role in marriage. My wife, Ann and I are as different as a pitbull and a poodle. Guess which one I am….no…I’m not the poodle…

But, many couples don’t realize just HOW different they are until they are married. Making decisions on  the honeymoon and beyond can reveal just how opposite you are.  

Ann’s natural response to the world is 180 degrees opposite of mine. But, that’s not a bad thing. In God’s sovereign plan, he brought two opposites together so we would complete and complement each other.

Imagine two people standing back to back. They don’t see the world the same way. Now, imagine them interlocking arms. When they rotate, they become a 360- degree couple, capable of protecting and strengthening one another because they literally “have each other’s back”.

When two different personalities submit to God and His truth, character traits like flexibility, forgiveness, adaptability, compromise, kindness, and support will flow from one another. Remember, ‘blessed are the flexible, for they shall not get bent out of shape!’ my little paraphrase of course.

Like Paul told the Colossians, “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these, put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.”

Become a student of each other. Know and understand how God uniquely created you and your spouse. Celebrate the Master’s workmanship in your “other half.”

As you can imagine, when a pit bull marries a poodle, the two have a lot of differences to work out! We’ve learned many lessons over the years and decided to write a book together to try and help other couples experiencing the same things.  In, Money Problems, Marriage Solutions, Ann and I help you UNIFY with your spouse. You can receive your own copy by making a generous donation of any amount this month to Crown. Visit