Expectations vs. Encouragement

Do you speak words of encouragement to your children? Or do they feel unable to meet your expectations?

Sometimes we act as if we need to validate ourselves through our children. If we’re elevated spiritually by their achievements, then we’re also demoralized by their failures. Now, this shouldn’t be. Our identity should be in Christ, not our kids. Our role is to lead, train and encourage them. Ultimately, we trust the Lord to complete the work He begins in them. Now that can be difficult. If only our children would listen and learn so they could avoid personal difficulties, right? After all, didn’t we? Haha! So share the financial failures you’ve had with your children and allow them to ask questions. Be transparent. Allow them to see that God’s still working on you.

Larry Burkett, the founder of this ministry, had a son who came home from college asking for help in clearing up his checking account. He had eight checks overdrawn with accompanying overdraft charges. Needless to say, Larry was discouraged. He said that the only thing worse would be if his own account were to be overdrawn. Well, that actually happened one summer when he forgot to make a deposit. My wife, Ann, and I have made our share of financial mistakes. Thankfully, a Crown study led us to a proper understanding of Lordship, Stewardship, and Generosity.  God was patient with us and that’s something we have to remember when dealing with our own sons. So let’s get off the validation treadmill and encourage our children. Solomon said in Proverbs 25:11, “Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken in right circumstances.”

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